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«J'aurais dû le dire !» - Regard d'Espérance n° 325, avril 2018 - Editorial (Yvon Charles)
«Dis-le pendant qu’il est encore temps !»
Combien ce conseil si simple peut se révéler pertinence et sagesse dans bien des situations…
Je songeais récemment à la tristesse de ce fils pensant à son père décédé, et à l’immense regret qui l’étreignait de ne pas avoir su lui dire, alors qu’il vivait encore, tout son amour filial, sa reconnaissance pour tout ce qu’il avait été pour lui depuis son enfance et bien au-delà… et l’émotion qu’il ressentait alors que surgissaient de sa mémoire tant et tant de paroles paternelles si empreintes d’affection, d’encouragement,
tant de gestes, d’attitudes, expression de la vigilance, de la protection du père,
et cette complicité implicite quand, jeune homme, puis adulte, ils se comprenaient d’un regard…
«J’aurais dû…»
Hélas, c’est trop tard…
Et comme l’a fait remarquer peut-être d’une manière un peu abrupte cet autre homme, repensant, lui aussi, au passé :
«Il vaut bien mieux dire aux êtres chers, combien on les aime,
que d’aller plus tard pleurer silencieusement devant leur tombe en y déposant des fleurs».
Certes, ces quelques fleurs, même tardives, peuvent aussi être un message, mais les offrir durant la vie de l’être aimé, est tellement plus significatif, le reflet d’un cœur aimant.
Notre monde matérialiste et agité ne laisse pas beaucoup de place, et encore moins de temps, pour méditer, réfléchir… et moins encore pour penser à l’autre, aux autres. L’activité devient vite activisme et envahit le temps, l’espace… et les cœurs !
Les écrans, de la télévision aux ordinateurs, captent l’attention, sont chronophages… et même si les «portables» et autres porteurs de signes facilitent les échanges, ils ne remplaceront jamais le dialogue de vive voix où le regard, l’intonation, la présence sont si importants.
Non point que SMS, e-mails, etc. ne soient parfois utiles… mais comme le dit la Bible: «Il y a un temps pour tout».
De plus, l’écran, fût-il animé d’images et de bruits, de films, de vidéos… n’est qu’un objet neutre en lui-même, qui ne répand aucune chaleur humaine véritable…
«Une présence virtuelle» qui laisse encore plus seul celui qui vit dans la solitude.
A l’instar du fils évoqué dans cet éditorial, attristé et étreint par les regrets, d’autres personnes se sont également trop tardivement rendu compte qu’elles avaient laissé fuir l’enfance de leurs petits garçons et filles en ne veillant pas à être proches d’eux, en ne les écoutant pas, ne les accompagnant pas comme elles auraient pu le faire… finalement en n’étant pas réellement «présentes».
«Je ne les ai pas vus grandir !»
Au-delà de la réflexion volontairement étonnée qui est plus exclamative que douloureuse, cette conclusion est, dans certains cas, lucidité et tristesse !
Qu’y avait-il donc de si important ou attractif, ou passionnant, pour que soit négligée ou reléguée au second plan ou pire…, l’éducation, et bien plus que l’éducation, la marche ensemble du père ou de la mère avec ses enfants ?
L’amour d’un père, d’une mère ne se remplace pas…
L’accompagnement attentif et aimant ne se délègue pas…
Ceux qui ont eu la grande souffrance de perdre père ou mère dans leur jeunesse… quelles qu’aient été l’aide, l’assistance qu’ils ont reçues le savent au plus profond d’eux-mêmes.
Aimer est plus grand que tout, dit la Bible !
Bien plus important que l’argent, les honneurs, les titres, les carrières, le prestige, «la gloire» et les satisfactions d’orgueil.
Quand on aime, on n’a aucune peine à établir la hiérarchie des valeurs qui demeure essentielle en ce monde où tout passe.
S’il arrive, hélas, que des situations imprévisibles ou très difficiles imposent des séparations plus grandes que souhaitées,
le langage du cœur, les multiples gestes de l’amour vrai, arrivent toujours à y pallier…
Et comme en témoigne le poète :
Une bonne parole et toute la journée en a été illuminée…
Il est vrai qu’il ajoute aussi :
une mauvaise parole et le jour tout entier en a été assombri.
Un sourire, un geste délicat… un message d’encouragement, de compassion, de compréhension, plus encore, d’affection ou d’amour, est semblable à la rosée du matin ou au soleil de midi, un signe, une marque vivifiante qui s’imprime dans l’âme.
«Je ne les ai pas vus grandir».
Dommage, car ces moments sont irremplaçables, ne se retrouveront jamais !
A la fin de sa longue existence, le célèbre alpiniste et écrivain, explorateur… Frison-Roche, qui avait tant sacrifié à sa soif d’aventures, de découvertes, de victoires, concluait sa biographie si dense en ces termes :
«…je sais maintenant ce qui a compté le plus dans ma vie. Ce ne sont pas mes succès d’écrivain, ni mes explorations, et surtout pas les faits de guerre. Non! Je suis fier d’avoir fondé une famille, d’être huit fois grand-père et déjà trois fois arrière-grand-père. Car la famille est le monument le plus durable que l’homme puisse élever à l’homme. Ma femme y est pour quelque chose, elle qui n’a pas connu les heures exaltantes que j’ai parfois vécues au cours de mes voyages. Ne le croyez-vous pas ?»
Certitude quelque peu tardive peut-être, mais conclusion qu’une longue marche en ce monde lui a enseignée.
Heureux celui qui reçoit alors qu’il est encore temps la leçon de la sagesse séculaire :
Quel chemin choisir ?
Quel exemple suivre ?
La Bible exhorte chaque être humain, éphémère voyageur ici-bas,
à bien choisir le chemin de sa vie avant de s’y engager… à ne suivre que des routes sûres et éprouvées… à établir des points de repère pour toute son existence.
Elle éclaire la vie et la mort d’une lumière venue d’en haut qui transcende toutes choses, resituant la destinée humaine dans sa perspective éternelle,
redonnant l’espoir à ceux qui, ployant sous les regrets, voudraient pouvoir, sinon reconstruire, tout au moins réparer…
Le message éternel de l’Évangile leur apporte l’espérance.
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